Knots

Have you ever had feelings that you don't want but just keep struggling with to let go of?

For me it is bad feelings towards another who has not wronged me in any way and has no idea that I might have these feelings Rather the feelings come from insecure and jealous thoughts within my own mind that have created emotional anger within me towards this person. I take these thoughts and twist them so much within my brain that I come up with scenerios that my mind tells me could really be realities that then cause the feelings to become deeper.

What is left is a twisted web and mess much like a knotted and twisted ball of yarn. I want the string to be loose and free between me and that person but I feel like I have twisted and tied so many knots in our connection that all that is left between us is this huge twisted ball. And when I think of this person or am with this person I can't really see that person or know them because they are hidden behind this massive ball that I can't seem to move.

And it's true I can't move it. It is too heavy for me to bear. And I can't take every knot and analyze it and untie it. It would be too hard to do and take too much time and most likely just end up in even more of a knotted mess. There is just no way for me to humanly get around it.

I know without a doubt the only way for it to be free and untied is for me to place it in God's hands. To let the Spirit control and free my thoughts and to turn the sinful feelings and emotions over to God as soon as they come. It is much easier to say than to do but I know it is a process. With each step a knot will be undone through the Spirit till there is nothing but the freedom of a connection to this person through God's love.

You, my brother, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature rather serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command Love your neighbor as yourself. If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

>>Galation 5:13-15>>

God please grant me this desire and freedom which is only possible through your power.