4 months

I never really thought in 4 months I could experience so much in my life. That is until Tian Elliot arrived. I feel like I can't even begin to express the emotions, thoughts, and joys I have experienced over the last 4 months however in order not to forget some of them I

liked to share the best way I can some I remember.

I remember the late, late nights of months 1 and 2 when I would sit in the rocking chair staring down at my beautiful baby and thinking things like - how am I ever going to discipline this little bundle of joy, how can I make time go slower so I can keep these baby moments, why can't his relatives (grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins) live closer so we could spend more precious moments together, and hoping God would grant me many days ahead with this little boy. And I remember realizing the responsibility that lay in my hands of teaching this little boy about his heavenly father. These were emotional moments and I loved every minute of those late night, quiet, peaceful, (when I was totally exhausted) moments.

I continue to think about all those things now and then in the quiet moments I still hold my little boy in my arms but those moments are a little rarer since now I usually have a squirmy bundle of energy in my arms. Over the last month my little boy who was compleltly helpless in those first months and spent most days in my arms now is wanting to do things on his own. Squirm out of mommy's arms so he can lay on his belly and try to move around, or sit in his bouncy seat to play with toys, or even more recent try and sit up by himself. I am missing those moments of peaceful newborn but am filled with joy when I get to see this little bundle of energy giggle back at Mommy when I tickle his belly or chew on Mommy's check after I give him a big slobbery kiss on his chubby cheeks.

Already I think I have begun to realize that every moment I have with this little boy is going to be precious. From those first hours I finally got to see him after carrying him around for 9months - to the days when he won't want Mommy to kiss those chubby cheeks - to the days when he will hopefully have his own little ones cheeks to kiss. All I know is that it is something miraculous and awesome to have a child of your own and even more awesome to know that it was a gift from God above. Not something that I have done or achieved but only given to me and my husband by God. And what a perfect and wonderful gift! I am looking forward to not what next month brings but for what every new day God brings into my life through this little one:)

I thank God for truly showing me a little bit more of himself and "heaven" through this little boy Tian.

Merry Christmas - From a kid's perspective

Tian rolling over

Just another special moment with my baby :)

Can't wait to watch Sesame Street - Reason #2

Another exciting reason that I get to watch sesame street. This is super fun.

Can't wait to watch Sesame Street - Reason #1

While searching Sesame Street on www.youtube.com I was super excited to find that Sesame Street is going to be just as fun for me to watch as Tian:) I can't seem to remember Sesame Street having such cool music and music guests when I was little but it is going to be super fun to watch now. Here is just a reason #1.

2 Months of Baby

So tomorrow (Friday October 29th) marks 2 months since Tian Elliot was born. (See below for birth story). It is hard to believe that 2 months have gone by already but then again a lot has happened in 2 months and I have watched my baby grow.

Looking back the first 2 weeks of motherhood was a blur. Words to describe those 2 weeks would be: tired, exhausted, groggy, sore. Although those first 2 weeks were exhausting I loved holding my tiny baby and getting to know him.

By weeks 3 and 4 things were starting to settle in with figuring out how motherhood works, getting more sleep and getting on a schedule with washing cloth diapers.

Weeks 5 and 6 brought adventure and sadness as we got to travel for the first time on a 14 hour roundtrip car ride to Aunt Manny's weedding. We got to be apart of the wedding but it was sad saying goodbye to Aunt Manny who had been staying with us since baby Tian was born and had helped change many diapers and had much playtime and naptime with the baby.

Weeks 7 and 8 have just passed and I have to say things are going wonderful. I am starting to understand my baby more and more each day. I have gotten to see the first smiles over the last several weeks. I am able to actually put him in his swing or bouncey chair to get meals prepared and getting more sleep.

I have loved these past 2 months transitioning from a full-time teacher to a stay at home mom. Realizing that it is a wonderful job or rather life to be able to share with my baby. And I am looking forward to the next 2 months even more.

A Labor Story

September 3, 2010 - Baby's due date

9:15am - I wake to the sound of my neighbor's leaf blower and think doesn't he know people are still sleeping around here. As I go to get out of bed I feel a funny tightening sensation in my stomach. Weird I think, could that have been a contraction?

9:30am - I decide to start some quick house cleaning in case this is labor. I don't want to bring my baby home to a dirty house. I also call my husband and tell him to think about maybe coming home from work early because this could be the beginning of labor and I would like him there.

10:15am - I am having light contractions now probably every 6-8 minutes and the contractions are lasting about 30-40 seconds. I have cleaned up what I needed and am feeling good that if this is labor things are in order. I decide to eat something light and go with a bagel and peaches.

10:30am - I call my husband again to check in and let him now I am having contractions pretty regular now but they are not too overwhelming. I decide to get a shower and get ready in case we are going to the hospital today. The contractions keep coming..............

11:15am - My sister is here with me and we decide to start timing the contractions which are getting a little stronger and closer together. The contractions are now 4-5 minutes apart and lasting about 50 seconds. I call my husband again and tell him he had better be home by noon because I need him to help me with my relaxation (instead he is stressing me out by not being here)!

12:00pm - Troy (my husband) arrives home and begins to help me through my contractions by massaging my forehead and neck and keeping me relaxed. It is much better than having to get through the contractions by myself. We call my doctor's office because I am supposed to have a checkup today and I am thinking maybe I should just skip it because I am pretty sure we will be headed to the hospital sometime soon anyway. I am pretty sure this is labor:) The doctor decides she would like us to come in at 1:00pm just to see how things are progressing before going to the hospital. I am not looking forward to this because it means I will have to go through these contractions in a car and not the relaxed environment of my home - but we head out with our bags in the car in case we need to go to the hospital on the way:)

1:00pm - We arrive at the doctor's office and I get hooked up to a machine to see how me and the baby are doing. I am also checked and found to be 4 centimeters dilated and 100% effaced. My contractions are now 4-5 minutes apart and about 50-60 seconds long. I am not finding them unbearable as with each contraction Troy (my husband and labor coach) is keeping my relaxed and positive. The doctor says things are moving along great and the baby and I are doing good and maybe we should just go home and relax for a little while before heading to the hospital - we don't want to get there too early.

1:30pm - We arrive home and Troy advises me to try and lay in my side position and see how it works for the contractions. He tries to get a quick lunch in between my contractions which are now 3-5 minutes apart and 50-60 seconds long. I find that the side laying position is not comfortable and decide the most comfortable position for my contractions is standing up and hugging Troy in a dance-like position while he rubs my back. (He takes bites of macaroni and cheese in between contractions). I decide I would like to eat some ice-cream because I feel hungry.

2:00pm - I begin to feel sick to my stomach and get sick. So much for eating that ice-cream and peaches! I tell Troy I really think we should head into the hospital because I the contractions are getting stronger and riding in the car is not looking appealing to me.

2:30pm - We pull out for the hospital and as he drives Troy massages my forehead through contractions. I am keeping my eyes closed partly because of the contractions and partly because of Troy's driving:)

3:00pm - We arrive at the hospital and as we walk in we stop every 3-5 minutes so that I can do a slow dance with Troy. I can imagine people are looking at us strange but I don't care. My mind is focused on one thing and that is having this baby. I don't even look at people as I walk by them and my eyes are only open to see ahead of me. I look forward to getting to the hospital room and having some privacy to have my baby.

3:30pm - We get to the hospital room and it is time for me to get checked again. The doctor arrives to check me and once again finds that me and baby are doing great. I am now 8 centimeters dilated. The baby is coming! I am excited.

4:30pm - I get in the jacuzzi to relax more through the contractions that are now 2-4 minutes apart and find that the warm water really helps me stay relaxed and manage through everything. I am so happy that I have not had any pain medication and am managing the labor fine so far. I am also thrilled with the awesome nurse (Connie) and doctor (Sandy) who have not suggested giving me any pain medication as my goal is to have this baby with none. They have also respected my wish to not have an IV so that I can remain as relaxed as possible. For me it is all a mindset as each contraction comes to just think about relaxing and getting through this contraction so I can get closer to my baby.

6:15pm - I decide to get out of the jacuzzi because I begin to feel like I could start pushing and the nurse had said to make sure you get out when this happens - the hospital doesn't want and water births. I get out and feel chilly and the need to go to the bathroom. I remember learning about transition and think this could be - it almost time to push. Luckly my transition doesn't seem to be quite as scary as I remember learning in class. Yeah!

6:45pm - I really begin to feel the need to push and the doctor (now Dr. Leynes) now comes to check. She confirms I am ready to start pushing, I am 10 centimeters. She also suggests that she break my water to relieve pressure. I agree. The water is broke and they find there is meconium in the fluid which is not the best for the baby. They say I will not be able to hold the baby immedietly when he is born because he will need to be checked right away. I am sad but know I need to get my baby out. So I get an extra shot of motivation and begin pushing. I find that pushing is hard since I can no longer relax with Troy's help but just focus on pushing and his encouraging words cheering me on.

7:00pm-9:00pm - With each push I think I am getting closer to seeing baby. And while the pushing is tiring it is not as painful as I thought it would be and I love the encouragement I am getting from Troy and my nurse (Jaime). It is like being cheered on from the sidelines during a basketball game.

9:00pm - I begin to feel like the pushing is different. I start to feel the "ring of fire" I have learned about in birthing class. This baby is almost here I think and I hear the nurse call for the doctor. The baby's head is crowning.

9:20pm - The doctor shares that she thinks I need an episiotomy because this baby looks pretty big and we need to get him out. She confirms that I do not want any anesthesia for it and on the next contraction she does the episiotomy. I feel nothing. BUT then another contraction and I feel an extreme release - the baby has arrived!!!!

9:24pm - I suddenly open my eyes which have been closed the whole time and am filled with a rush of energy and excitement. I feel like I have just won a marathon and there is my beautiful baby. He immedietly begins to cry and is taken for a quick check up before very shortly being handed to me. I begin to bond with my baby with my husband by my side and feel wonderful.

10:00pm - I say to my husband, "I could definetly do that again."

*My labor story went better than I ever imagined. I have to give a huge amount of credit to my husband and coach - Troy - who was with me all the way through every contration (after 12 noon) and kept me relaxed and positive through the whole labor. I could not have been as positive without him by my side and he took care of me through it all. I love you Troy:)

*I also have to thank Shanna my birthing class instructor. Troy and I decided to take the birthing class - the Bradley Method - and attend 12 two-hour seesions. Without these classes I don't believe I would have had nearly enough knowledge about birth to feel comfortable knowing what was happening to my body and I may not have been able to have a mindset to do labor without any pain medication. Thanks Shanna!

Finally I encourage anyone having a baby soon to just become as informed as you can about labor and what it will be like beforehand so that you are prepared for the wonderful moment of the arrival of your child.

~Make it the best experience you can~

So I guess alot can happen in a year which is why I haven't posted anything in over a year. Since my last post back in August of 2009 I have made 2 more blackberry pies (with berries right from our garden), made it through another gardening season with thousands of cucumbers and tomatoes, saw my sister get engaged and began helping to plan a wedding (wedding coming in less than 2 months), received my masters in music education from Penn State, spoke at a graduation commencement, took "early" retirement from teaching at Hershey Christian School, and became a mother (or will be very shortly) with Baby Boy Mouer scheduled to arrive this Friday, September 3rd. I guess that basically sums up why the blog postings halted for much of 2010.

But now with the baby on the way and the desire to share many pictures and stories I believe the blog will now resume and most likely take on a more "baby" friendly look. So stay tuned for more to come and in the meantime here are a couple of pictures from the last several months of Baby Mouer.



19 weeks
1st ultrasound
2nd ultrasound - Baby Boy Mouer's feet

28 weeks

34 weeks